Me too!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
