Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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