yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
