RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
