I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
