i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
