Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
