i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
