I think I won the penis lottery.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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