I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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