I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
