my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
