Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
