im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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