We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
