i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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