I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
