I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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