you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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