I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize