Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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