Welp...herpes.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Green mimosas i think yes
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize