oh god the rape fog is back!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
