I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize