The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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