You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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