I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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