I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
