I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
