I can tuck mytits in my pants
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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