She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
