Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
