her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
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We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
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To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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