sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
