Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
