Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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