oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
NoShamevember. You game?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
