I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
