I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize