Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
