You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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