Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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