This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
