i just google imaged poop.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Who died my cat blue again?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I would fuck him just for his dog
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
