just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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