they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
