so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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