we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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