dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
