If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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