how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
