Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize