Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
