So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
