So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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