..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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