STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
