Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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