You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
